Imagine if we were as committed to the promises we make to ourselves as we are to the promises we make to our children (or our partners, or our friends)?
Integrity—doing what I say I’ll do—is important to me.
If I’ve promised (okay, threatened) to throw out all of my boys’ LEGO because they aren’t packing it away, you better believe I’m going to do it (as much as it kills me).
And when it comes to the more positive promises ( do make those too!) —like family movie night, 1:1 time, or putting something yummy in their lunchbox—I will do everything in my power to deliver.
I’ve learned over time that to stay true to this value, I have to be selective about what I promise. Only making promises I know I can follow through on helps me maintain that sense of integrity.
But here’s the thing: I just don’t treat promises to myself with the same level of commitment.
Are you guilty of this too?
Why do we do it?
We follow through on promises to others because we want them to know they can rely on us, trust us, and see that we have integrity. We value the relationship, and we care about the consequences if we don’t follow through.
But when it comes to ourselves, it’s easy to let things slide. No one is watching. The stakes feel lower.
But are they really?
What actually happens when we keep breaking promises to ourselves?
Every time we say we’ll do something for ourselves—whether it’s getting that workout in, drinking more water, or going to bed earlier—and then break that promise, we lose a bit of trust in ourselves.
We chip away at our confidence. Over time, we start believing that we aren’t capable of following through, which only reinforces the cycle of letting ourselves down.
The problem? We make too many mini-promises to ourselves, without really taking them seriously. And then we break them.
The solution? I believe we need to get serious and selective about the promises we make to ourselves; just like we do with the people we love.
Instead of making a dozen little promises that we don’t take seriously, we can decide on one or two that truly matter and commit.
We can focus on following through, no matter how small the promise seems. When we do this, we can start to build trust in ourselves again. We can feel more confident in our ability to show up for ourselves.
This week, I challenge you: what’s one promise to yourself that you know you can keep? Make it meaningful. Make it doable. Follow through. Oh and of course, make yourself accountable by hitting reply and sharing with me 