I jumped on a coaching call with a woman this week – she lives a busy life and has a lot on her plate, but is regularly active. She walks every day and has been doing some strength training, but was having trouble with consistency and couldn’t work out what she needed to make it a more regular part of her routine.
Now even if you’ve only been around here for 2 secs, you know this is my jam.
And truthfully, I logged on pretty confident I knew what she needed to hear.
Her sessions hadn’t been feeling particularly challenging.
Life had been full.
She was trying to trust the process, accepting that things felt easy while she focused on building consistency first
I was ready to tell her: give yourself some grace. The fact that you’re showing up consistently is the win. Easy is okay right now.
But then we started talking.
And I realised I had it completely wrong.
Here’s what was actually going on.
She had the time. That wasn’t the issue.
But every week, when it came to her sessions, something subtle was happening beneath the surface.
Her brain was quietly running a cost/benefit check.
Is this worth it?
Will this feel good?
Do I have the energy for this?
We all do this – usually without realising it. And if even one of those answers tips the wrong way, we don’t do the thing. Even when we genuinely want to.
For her, the sessions were actually too easy to feel worth prioritising.
They weren’t giving her enough of a feeling to make them feel important.
She didn’t need more grace.
She needed more challenge.
When I suggested this – when I basically gave her permission. for the session to feel hard – I could see the (proverbial) weight lift from her shoulders.
This is something I come back to again and again with the women I work with.
Consistency is almost never a scheduling issue.
It’s a feeling issue.
And the feeling that makes something stick is different for everyone. Some women need movement that feels restorative and calm. Others need to feel genuinely challenged to feel like it counted.
Neither is right or wrong. But if you’re struggling to stay consistent, it’s worth asking:
Does this feel worth it to me?
Not: am I being disciplined enough. Not: do I have enough time.
Just – does this feel worth it?
Because if the honest answer is no, the solution probably isn’t trying harder.
It’s changing the input.
Sometimes that shift is obvious once someone points it out. Other times it takes a few conversations to find it.
If you’re finding it hard to stay consistent and you’re not quite sure why – I open one spot a month for my 3-month coaching container. It’s a close, supported space where we work together to figure out what’s actually getting in the way and build something that actually sticks.