The older I get the more I realise… I don’t know anything!

Even in my mothering – I remember feeling SUPER confident I had all the answers after I had my first baby. I had all the tips on getting babies to sleep through the night (turns out, he was just one of those babies), dealing with toddler tantrums (turns out, he wasn’t a tantrummy kinda kid) and feeding kids (turns out, he just bloody loves food).

By the time I had my third boy, I remember my sister asking for my advice on a baby issue she was having. She was literally begging me for answers. And I had nothing. I might have even said “How should I know?” (although hopefully I was a little more helpful than that ).

I am a lover of learning. I just love to accumulate knowledge and then stew on it and think about all the different ways it could be applied – for myself and for others.

But the more I learn, the more I realise I don’t know; that nothing is certain. I realise that a lot of my opinions, beliefs & even identity are much less black and white than I once thought. I’m living in the vast grey area, and I’m learning (present tense) to be ok with it.

Learning to be ok in the grey area has not come without a few struggles!

Personally, I’ve struggled:

  • in my identity as a productive, go-getter and someone who values introspection & rest.
  • in my love of connecting with people and my deep need for alone time and quiet

As a Mum, I’ve struggled:

  • with thinking my role is to impart all of my wisdom onto my children and realising that the opposite might actually be happening
  • between being fair and consistent in my parenting and knowing that each of my kids actually need different things from me

In my work, I have struggled:

  • with my identify as a Women’s Health Physio, when I am not a Pelvic Health Physio
  • in my battle between clinician (“expert” with the answers) and coach (collaborative partner & guide)

And in all three areas, I’ve struggled:

  • with my belief in science & evidence, and my realisation that there is a decent amount of magic (or woo) in life that we can’t see or measure.

​For me, recognising the internal battles and accepting that I don’t have to pick a lane has been key. (And also remembering that these battles always feel worse when I’m tired, stressed and generally feeling out of control.)

Is this something you struggle with too, in your personal life, work or as a parent?