Since I became a Mum over 11 years ago, I’ve struggled with an almost daily tug of war between productivity and presence; wanting to get all the things done, and wanting to enjoy the moment.
Let’s just say I’ve read a lot of books. I’ve also tried a lot of strategies, systems & hacks. And I still don’t have the answers.
But… every now and again I read/hear something that gives me an instant mindset shift. Which is what happened this week.
I’ve been reading a book recommended by a client called ‘Make Time‘ . The very masculine title is counterbalanced by the byline – ‘How to focus on what matters every day’. I’ve gathered a few golden nuggets from the book, but it’s given me two epiphanies that I wanted to share:
Epiphany #1
It the book, the authors talk about ditching the to-do list (which you know I am all about!) and choosing one ‘highlight’ for the day; something that you either really need to get done (i.e a project that is urgent & important), something that will bring you satisfaction or something that will bring you joy.
Something about the word highlight forces me to visualise what I hope will be bright spot in my day. And this was an instant mindset shift for me. The highlight is not meant to be the only thing I do that day, but it means I’m much more likely to get at least one thing in that means something to me, rather than just ticking off a whole heap of ‘busy’ tasks.
Epiphany #2
This one was less instant and took a couple of days to develop…
My first instinct when I read about choosing a highlight was to assume I would choose one personal highlight and one work-related highlight each day. But a section in the book made me re-evaluate this. The authors talk about ‘stack ranking’ your life; actually making a list of big things that matter in your life (i.e your values) and then listing them in order of priority. But here’s the bit that got me – the order of the list can change from day to day, and even within the day.
I would not usually feel comfortable writing a list that prioritised my work above my family (I would 100% judge myself). But…there are some days, when I have a deadline for a work-related that is meaningful to me. And so on that day, my work might come before my family. It doesn’t mean my work is always more important, or that I don’t spend any time with my family that day, it just means it will be the thing I give more of my energy and focus to that day.
With this mindset shift, I realised that choosing one personal and one work highlight each day is just the over-achiever in me coming out. I think sometimes we can over-compartmentalise our lives, trying to make sure all of the areas are seen to; work, finances, family, relationship, friends, health, hobbies… 😅 It’s exhausting.
The truth is, my work is part of me. My relationship is part of me. My finances, health & hobbies are part of me. It is all personal. So some days my highlight might be to finish a work task (today my highlight was getting this newsletter out), some days it might be getting a nice long walk in and some days it might be spending quality time with a friend.
What do you want your highlight to be today?