Over the weekend, I spent time with some of my oldest girlfriends – the kind of women who’ve seen you in your teenage skin, crying over a break-up, making silly decisions … and somehow still love you.
There’s something about being around people who’ve known you. Not just for the ‘grown up’ version you present now, but the cringey, chaotic, earnest versions too. The ones you thought you’d outgrown; The ones you thought you’d outgrown – but really, just packed away in the cupboard marked ‘Past version of me.
We ate good food. Shared our deepest thoughts. Told stories that started with “remember when…?” and ended in tears.
But here’s the moment that stuck with me most:
We jumped into the Derwent river from a floating sauna boat.
The air was freezing. The water even colder. And just before the jump, there was that pause – the “why am I doing this?” moment. And then… the leap. The gasp. The whoop. The sudden rush of being very much alive in your body.
Later, wrapped in towels, skin tingling, I remember thinking
“I haven’t felt that much like myself in ages.”
It’s easy to forget who you are when life is busy.
When your to-do list is long and your sleep is short.
When you’re carrying a lot; emotionally, mentally, physically.
When you’ve spent years focused on other people.
But now and then, you get a jolt. A moment. A weekend. A workout. A friendship. A freezing cold river. Something that strips away the layers and brings you back to yourself.
Not the past you.
The real you.
The one who’s been here the whole time.
That’s why I love strength training.
Not just because of what it does for your physical body.
But because of what it reminds you – that you are capable, present, powerful.
That you can still surprise yourself.
That you are allowed to take up space.
That it’s not too late.
And you’re not lost, just a little dusty.