Last week, my 11-year-old, Malachy, said something I’ll never forget. He says a lot of things I really should write down… But I think this is one you’ll appreciate, too.
So Malachy is pretty staunchly anti-smartphone, and it drives him nuts that more and more of his friends are getting them. He worries he is going to ‘lose them to their phones’ and he’s concerned about what the phones are doing to their brains (just for context, Malachy is neurodivergent 
)
After his last art therapy session, his teacher mentioned his smartphone concerns had come up in the session. In solidarity, she shared how she’d lost three of her kids to smartphones, (which is worse because she gave birth to them!) Without missing a beat, Malachy asked her, totally deadpan, “Did you buy them the phones?”
Well, obviously we both lost it 
(she’s a good sport and equipped to handle the judgement of an 11 year old!) But in truth, this moment has stuck with me since.
He hit on a truth that’s hard to ignore: how often we set ourselves up for the very outcomes we don’t want.
We do it all the time with out health. We start with great intentions- get stronger, feel better, take control of pain- but then the choices we make don’t support these intensions. We end up slipping back into habits that don’t help; we feel let down, frustrated, or just plain stuck. I don’t mean this in a shameful way – life just lifes ALL the time, and it’s impossible to make the ‘right’ choices all the time. But I believe asking ourselves the honest question- “Did I choose this?” – can be really powerful.
Which is the other lesson I took from this interaction between MAalchy & his Art Therapist.
The Power of Owning It
What I’ve seen with my clients, time and again, is that there’s a unique strength in taking responsibility for our choices. Things won’t always go exactly as we want, but by owning our part, we get back a sense of control. This is where real empowerment begins: not from perfect circumstances, but from being active participants in our own journey. It means knowing that, even if things don’t go to plan, at least we’re directing our own path.
When we look at our choices- really look at them- our sense of control grows.
And when we have control, we can make better choices, manage pain, see progress, and keep that inner motivation alive.
So here’s my invitation this week: think about what you might be “buying” into that doesn’t serve you. Maybe it’s a mindset, a habit, or even something small like skipping those daily movements that make you feel good. And if you find something, don’t worry- just notice it. Because awareness is the first step in making those tiny shifts that lead to big change.
To quirky 11 year olds, and owning our choices and the power that comes with it!